over whelemed!

its been hard... things i thought would happen wont...things seem out of reach.. life seems a little pointless. i always thought life had meaning and purpose but now i think i was naive and young. life has nothing instore except diffuculties. im aware that half of our population belives in god but the harder i look the more i belive there isnt any. and were here to fend for ourselves and make life whatever we can. and i am trying as hard as i can but still not achiving any of my dreams. im so frustrated all the time. i ask myself why alot and i regret alot...stopping piano..not continuing ice skating...soccer...art.. i am not good at anything except failing. i even failed at this blog. life is too much work.

wow

its been a LOOOONNGG ass time since i wrote in here i cant belive its been 5 years since i started it!! so much has changed. ryan is a little crzy and andrew ran away..last year..i miss him... he was 11. chance got eaten by coons like 3 yrs ago. my best friend emily ketchum lives with me now cuz her folks went to cali... i got my ged after 4 yrs at new urban and now i am going to mount hood community college. im studing to be a special ed teacher for pre k.. lol i had the best summer of my life last summer. partys and the river (where i almost drowned) and hanging at the mall... its been a blast. paul moved to grants pass. i miss him but thats were he wants to be so i am glad he is happy. anyways il try writing more in this mmmmmk? mmk lol