ill be there

listening to all be there by declan. i can cry a little now. for like 3 seconds then its like some one dams my tears. if my heart is so prtected why does it still hurt. why did this happen. i would give anything to have him back. i love him so much. i hate living. i feel alone and abandoned. why is he doing this. does he even care. doesnt anyone ever?? aparently not. people are to caring about themselfs to see who there hurting,scarring,breakind. i wish i could sleep forever

the will to cry

why cant i cry. i want to.. i havent been able to cry in a long long time. sometimes i can force a tear out. but thats all. i want to cry. get it all out. but i just feel numb. sad numb and regretful, hopeless. i want to be happy. too not miss him. i want to get over it. but i cant if i cant even cry over it. nothing phases me anymore.nothing matters anymore..

full of hate not of life!

drugs are bad drinking is horrible LIES LIES LIES LIES give me a bottle of pills ill down them all i want to sleep forever love its overrated!! if i dont believe in love i cannot get hurt right?? i loved him and he hurt me mentally physically emotionally and then threw me away like garbage. guys are after one thing: causing pain. im locking my heart away in a box. and becoming an octopus man lady. im so frustrated i wanna cry. i cant cry i can pretend im ok. i do pretend i am ok but i am still hiding behing my mask old worn and dusty from new urban.. enjoy her buddy.. so your with her not with me i hope she sweet and so pretty. i hope you never see my face again. i hope you miss me i hope you wish you could undo it. i hope you try.. because when you do i will break your heart like you broke mine. there is a new guy who wrote a poem to me. from the heart and the only thing you ever gave me was a sprained wrist a bloody nose bruises... he makes me smile you made me cry.he makes me feel better when your bringing me down... even tho were over you continue to hurt me. push me down and he is the one that helped me back up. i hate you for making me love you. and now... you have lost me. there is no hope for you because now.. i am his. and i am no longer bruised or cut or hurting. my scars are there but everything you ever gave me is healing..